He Said

Verse 1

Well I birthed him in a snowstorm back in '94
Pushed for nineteen hours on the bathroom floor
Now he's six foot two with a beard and a truck
And he tells me how to parent — oh Lord, give me luck

Verse 2

"Mama, don't do that," he said with a sigh
Like I haven't been his mother since he learned to cry
I changed his stinky britches, I wiped his snotty nose
Now he's correctin' my behavior in his fancy business clothes

Chorus

He said, he said, he said, he said
I'm so tired of hearin' every word he said

I made him from my body, I made him from my bread
And now he sighs and rolls his eyes at every word I said he said.

I'd shove him back inside me if the doctor said I could
But the doctor said I couldn't, and I reckon that's for good

Verse 3

"Don't post that on the Facebook, don't tell that to my wife
Don't feed the dog them table scraps, don't bring up my old life
Well honey I'm your mother, not a hostage in your home
I'll do just what I want to till the cows come walkin' home

Verse 4

He said don't kiss him in the Walmart, don't pinch him on the cheek
Don't mention how he wet the bed up till the age of eight-point-three
Don't bring the baby pictures, don't sing the lullaby
Don't tell his lovely fiancée 'bout the time he tried to fly

Chorus

He said, he said, he said, he said
Got a whole encyclopedia of every word he said

I built him from my marrow, I fed him from my chest
Now he's gradin' all my sentences like Mama failed the test

I'd put him back in my belly if the good Lord said I could
But the good Lord said I couldn't, so I'm doin' what I should

Bridge

(spoken, sweet as pie)
Sweetheart…
Mama loves you more than biscuits love the gravy
But you sigh at me one more time, son, and Mama's goin' Crazy

I'll tell your brand-new in-laws 'bout the summer you turned twelve
And what you did behind the barn — well, that one tells itself

Final Chorus

He said, he said, he said, he said
I'm so done with every blessed thing he said
I packed his little lunches, I tucked him into bed

Now he's textin' me instructions like I'm someone he just met

I'd shove him back inside me if the doctor said I could
But the doctor said I couldn't —
so I'll just embarrass him for good.